And I’m pissed. It’s only been 12-13 months since the last failure (Red Ring of Death). I wrote the below in a huff and fired it off to support. I thought it was both poignant and amusing, so I’m posting it here. Enjoy.

(If you’re curious about the failure, it is “You receive a “This disc is unreadable” error message”, detailed in article id 909819. Damn you, Microsoft!)

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If a human reads the below and feels my pain, I’d appreciate a response to warmfuzzy@gmail.com, even if it’s just to say “LOL! Funny man, you make me laugh.”

I consider myself a good kind of customer to have, particularly for video games and entertainment systems. When trouble strikes, I dutifully follow all troubleshooting steps available to me online prior to calling support. When I DO have to call support, I am courteous and lighthearted no matter how disappointed or angry I’ve become. In addition, I spend a fair amount of money on accessories and games, and defend my ownership of a Microsoft product against hordes of Sony fanboys (Hi Bloater!).

In the case of the Xbox 360, I have purchased a library of approximately 15 360 games (>$850 retail since one of them is Rock Band), over $200 worth of XBLA games, some 15 Rock Band Tracks, a hard drive (at least $100), three wireless controllers (~$40-50 each), a charge kit, an HD DVD player (~$100), and a partridge in a pear tree. In all, the total WITHOUT counting the console is probably near $1500 retail spent on items driving your Xbox business unit’s health.

I talk crap to my friends that try to talk me into the PS3, because I feel that the Xbox 360 has a superior online service and a superior game library.

Up until tonight I’d have been glad to recommend the purchase of an Xbox 360 to family and friends, despite having been bitten by the Red Ring of Death less than 4 months after initially acquiring my console. 13 months after receiving my refurb console I sit down for a heartwarming evening of GTAIV only to be told my game disc is unplayable. Reboot. Same. Try Skate. Same. Rock Band, Viva Pinata, Fight Night, Gears of War, Call of Duty 4. All the same. I even tried removing my super expensive and tiny 10GB hard drive and rebooting per article ID 909819, to no avail.

Then I get the bad news. I try to initiate a repair and am told it’s going to cost me $99, AND I don’t get an advance replacement, which will cause me something on the order of 2 weeks of downtime.

Now, the guys in your call center were great and helpful and efficient, but your hardware quality is clearly f*ing terrible. My Xbox sits in the same place, all day, every day. It has adequate ventilation. I do not have children that abuse it. I do not try to play game discs that are coated in chocolate sauce and peanut butter, nor do I tamper with it in an effort to play pirated games. Quite honestly, I’ve had better reliability with PCs I’ve built out of spare parts.

I’m going to be alive for quite awhile longer, and I’m sure there will be many more generations of console wars. I will never stop being a gamer, and since I’m only in my early 30s, I’m sure I’ll have ample opportunity to funnel a significant portion of my future earnings into many game platforms.

So, Mr. Microsoft ombudsman, you have a choice right now, just like I do when it comes time to purchase more gaming gear or a new console. You can sit there in your ivory tower and say “ha f*ing ha mr. customer, we already have $1500+ of your hard-earned money and have sold 10 million of these f*ing things, and we don’t give a damn about your plight”. _OR_, you could take pity on me, and throw me a free game, or a year of free Xbox Live Gold, or a stack of points I can use to purchase Rock Band songs or XBLA games.

The option which will retain me as a loyal customer through several more generations of console wars is left as an exercise for the reader.

Thanks for listening.

-Mike “Warmfuzzy” Bott